It seems like yesterday
when that caterpillar
sneakily found its way
to this hidden corner.
Life it has since given
to this much forgotten
place where euphoria and
pain go hand-in-hand.
Euphoric it was
when he first came.
Eager the corner was
to welcome the new game.
Yet the walls soon crack
as the caterpillar become
a cocoon that takes back
all the life given and some.
Painful it was
when the cocoon reigned.
Suffering the corner was
but endurance it feigned
because whenever it remembered
the joy the caterpillar radiated
like a contagious disease
the pain seemed to cease
at least for a while.
But only for a while.
After what seemed like eternity,
the corner watches as
a beautiful, winged entity
emerges from the cocoon
just when the limits of sanity
seem alarmingly close.
Though exceedingly pretty
the corner never saw much of her;
pleased by the newfound liberty,
she soon disappears into the horizon
without ever looking back.
And it is back to dull, dreary days
for the corner once again.
Mmmm, it took pretty long to write that poem -.- but I love it. It describes so well something that has happened over and over again in my life. Really, love is forever playing hide-and-seek with me in my life; when I look for it, it's always hiding, yet when I stop looking, it comes looking for me. I don't know whether this is true for everyone, but it has been proven time and time again in this pathetic life of mine. I guess nobody's perfect, hm? =(
Friday was an awesome day, because half my IB papers were overr! So naturally I celebrated with a bout of self-indulgence in the form of dancing. For 3.5 hours non-stop no less. Contemporary Jazz plus Lyrical Hiphop plus Jazz Funk. I loved all three classes though. Contemporary Jazz was inspiring, and the other two classes were very fun and enjoyable because I loved the choreographies, even though they were very different. I loved how the Lyrical Hiphop choreo was so emotional, just like the song -- and the song was so beautiful too! Jazz Funk was just sexy and fun. :) Although the choreography was very fast, the style somehow suits me pretty well, even though the song isn't something I normally listen to.
Yet, despite Friday's awesomeness, on Saturday morning, I woke up finding myself in a long tunnel with glass walls on each side and a blurred image of a person at the other end of the tunnel. As I passed through the tunnel, I can see so many familiar faces behind the glass walls. I called out to them, yet they couldn't hear me because of the glass walls. The glass walls seemed nonexistent then, and I felt the terrible feeling of loneliness and being unwanted, and suddenly, life doesn't seem to be worth living anymore. Funnily enough, Neopets (like, OMG!) made me feel a lot better, and the blurred vision at the end of the tunnel gradually looked more and more like me, until it became crystal clear, and I found myself again.
I'm especially thankful towards a certain friend who has never failed to treat me with kindness no matter how harsh I've been. It has always struck me that I never deserved any of this kindness, and yet it is given in such great abundance. Thank you, really. For the cab and the awesome food. :)
After the pretty much unproductive Saturday (although, remembering how terrible my mood was, trying to study wouldn't have worked well either), I spent the entire Sunday studying. After all, I'm still on the island. Escape is coming ever closer though. Can't wait! :) Studied with a friend who never fails to engage me in 'silly but intellectual discussions' and make me laugh. Am especially tickled by the phrase "getting killed often". HAHA.
Well, the dollar-sign monsters that assaulted me just this morning were pretty alright, though slightly tougher to handle than usual. I think the lack of sleep has reduced the alertness of my mind -.- gotta get ready to face alphabet-monsters soon.
It amazes me
how fast this addiction was cured.
All it took was a snap
and it was gone.
And now from a drug
you have become almost a nonentity
that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Spitefulness is not in my nature
so apathy you shall receive.
I shall keep the green monster under check
because even under apathy's reign
it can still escape
and wreck my heart with unnecessary pain.
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