092510555. Invisible. Inspired.

Sooo da:ns fest is over. Sigh. It was great fun and all, though I did a thankfully-nearly-unnoticeable mistake during the performance =D hahaha. Gonna miss the practices and the people :) Loved my hair and my makeup haha. It's rather sad that the performances that I looked forward to the most were significantly better during the rehearsal runs, even though it was so bloody frickin' HOT during the rehearsal runs :( One dancer particularly caught my eye, and never seemed to escape much from my eye throughout the entire program...even in the real performance, where the entertainment level dropped significantly, to my utter dismay :( But yeah, if you're reading this and you know who you are, I want to tell you that I'm eternally grateful for having allowed me to watch you, because you've inspired me more than anyone ever had in my life to dance as if my life depended on it. Haha. I've always been able to FEEL for a song, but I guess that I haven't really tried to show it that much...until today. Or more like, last night. Haha.

But as always, reality strikes back even when you'd much rather live inside a dream. A utopic dream where everything is just as you would like it to be. Wishful thinking much -.-

Strange comments. Unexpected gossips. Weird matchmaker. Envious stares. Mine by the way. Observation. Confusion. Incomprehension. Love. Love. What a painful word.

In life, there will always be people that you admire, and often times, there will also be people who admire you, sometimes for aspects of yourself that you never even thought much about nor treasured much.
At the same time, there will always be people that you take for granted, as well as people who take you for granted. That's just the way life is. Too much of anything is bad. Moderation is key. Admiration will bring about admiration, neglect will bring about neglect. That's what Mr. Karma says, and I believe that it's really true. I've taken too much for granted, and now it's my turn to feel how it's like to be taken for granted. And damn, the feeling sucks. So bad that I don't mind dying now. In fact, dying sounds more attractive than losing you. Or am I overdramatizing things? Hope not. 'Cause the tears that I've been wanting to cry seem to refuse to be held back anymore. Are you even worth these tears? Hell if I know. It doesn't even seem to matter now, does it?

Si je parle une certaine langue asiatique, peut-etre je serais plus proche avec toi. C'est la premiere fois dans ma vie que j'espere que j'ai etudier parler la langue, mais je la deteste encore. Tu parlais la langue parce que tu ne voulais pas que je comprenne ce que tu as dit? Alors, tu as reussit, bien. Exclusivist much.

I wish for so many things, but I know that none of them will come true.

555

One second in world history

Eternity in my history.

Immortalized, emblazoned forever

in my bank of memories.

Such a simple gesture,

yet it yielded such abundant happiness

more than chocolates ever could.

At the same time,

I realize how pathetic I've become

to be so affected by something so simple.

A million questions are raging to be fired

and yet the trigger seems too heavy for me to pull

'cause the risks of firing

almost overshadow the satisfaction that may be gained from it.

A nuisance? A bother? An annoying bug?

Is that what you see when I come to mind?

'Cause I think I'll disappear

if only you ordered me to.

And I'll make sure that you don't see the torrent of tears that follow.

Or perhaps I am just invisible

Like the air that you breathe but never notice

Yup, I get it;

I shall spare you from my dreadful company.

I need to stop wanting things that I can't have

but that's so hard to do when your heart refuses to be controlled.

To some, impossibility deters.

To others, impossibility allures.

I hope I am deterred before it's too late,

because this drug that I'm addicted to

is more potent than anything I've ever encountered.

It haunts me when I'm awake

and it haunts me even more when I'm asleep.

It lingers in my mind

like a succubus.

You know it's bad for you

but you just can't get away from it

and you can never get enough of it.

Such is the power of your poison.

Looking forward to 29.10.2009 :):) FREE FOOD! Need to start studying tomorrow or I'm so screwed for IB. Chemistry and English, here I come. Hopefully I will come, haha.

I love him. So much that it hurts.