When you're left with little else to think.

A conundrum that's impossible to solve
A pendulum that never stops oscillating
A pms-ing woman with severe mood swings
A mystery that doesn't want to be unraveled

Maybe you're one of the above
or maybe you're all of the above.

At times,
you make me feel special.
Oh, the kind of happiness you can bring me.
A teaspoon of effort or less
generates enough megawatts to last me through many days.
Yeah, it's almost ridiculous
how little it takes for you to make me happy.
It's as if you've cast me under a spell
and I'm utterly, completely helpless.

At other times,
you make me feel nonexistent.
It's as though I'm talking to a brick wall.
Whatever I say, whatever I ask
doesn't seem to be worth replying.
And I'm left here, wondering:
have I been an irritating nuisance?
have the phone networks gone dysfunctional?
have you fallen ill?
what should I do now?
should I stop saying anything?
is that what you want?
or did you not intend to not reply?
Please say something, anything.
'Cause I've no idea what to do.
You said this kind of thing doesn't annoy you,
but I shouldn't take your statement for granted, right?

Sometimes,
it's as though your existence in my life
serves to help me understand the things I never used to.
There were some things that were said to me before
that I didn't understand at the time
that I grew to understand because of you.
As crazy as it sounds,
you seem to bring out my masculine side.

I want to have faith in you
but I am so afraid to be wrong.
The last time I met you
was nothing short of blissful.
I want to believe that that's you,
and that everything's cool between us
but I'm running out of excuses to give you
'cause no matter what,
if I matter even the slightest to you,
you won't ignore me like this.
So perhaps the truth is that
I really don't matter.
Do I?
It's a little hard to believe
because just last week it seemed as though I do matter.
Perhaps if you could just be a little more consistent
I won't be thinking about this so much.
So if I really don't matter,
please
PLEASE
the next time I see you
really act as though I don't matter.
'Cause I'm really tired of this
of keeping my faith in you
of giving you excuses that aren't even for myself.
I want to know what to believe in.
Just don't leave me hanging.

And yet,
despite how tired I am of all this,
I still miss you so so much.
And I keep wishing that you're alright out there.
I'm really pathetic aren't I?

Sorry,
if I've been nothing but a nuisance in your life.
I just wanna be friends.